SIA WELCOME
12 Traditions
1. Our common welfare should come first; personal progress for the greatest number depends upon unity.
2. or our group purpose there is but one authority: a loving Higher Power, as this one may express her/himself in our group conscience. Our leaders are but trusted servants; they do not govern.
3. The only requirement for membership is that you be a victim of childhood sexual abuse, that you desire to recover from it, and that you, as an adult, have not sexually abused any child.
4. Each group should be autonomous except in matters affecting another group or SIA as a whole.
5. Each SIA group has but one primary purpose: to carry its message to the survivor of childhood sexual abuse who still suffers.
6. An SIA group ought never to endorse, finance, or lend the SIA name to any outside enterprise lest problems of money, property and prestige divert us from our primary objective.
7. SIA strives to be fully self-supporting and will not accept contributions that compromise SIA’s autonomy or mission.
8. Survivors of Incest Anonymous Twelve Step work should remain forever non-professional, but our service centers may employ special workers.
9. Survivors of Incest Anonymous groups, as such, ought never be organized, but they may create service boards or committees directly responsible to those they serve.
10. Survivors of Incest Anonymous has no opinion on outside issues; hence, the SIA name ought never be drawn into public controversy.
11. SIA public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion; we need always maintain personal anonymity at the level of press, radio, films and television.
12. Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our Traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities.
SIA Concepts of Service (short version)
Concept #1
The ultimate responsibility and authority for SIA world services belongs to the collective conscience of our whole fellowship.
Concept #2
The World Service Conference of SIA and its service arms have become, for nearly every practical purpose, the active voice and the effective conscience of SIA as a whole.
Concept #3
The right of decision makes effective leadership possible.
Concept #4
Participation is the key to harmony.
Concept #5
The rights of appeal and petition protect minorities and insure that they be heard.
Concept #6
The Conference acknowledges the primary administrative and legal responsibility of the SIA Board of Trustees.
Concept #7
Based on our charter and by-laws the Board of Trustees have legal rights while the rights of the Conference are based on the 12 Traditions.
Concept #8
The Board of Trustees oversees the management of SIAWSO to assure consistent and effective functioning.
Concept #9
Good service leadership at all service levels is indispensable for future functioning and safety.
Concept #10
Every service responsibility should be matched by an equal service authority, with the scope of such responsibilities and authority well defined.
Concept #11
Composition, qualifications, selection, responsibilities, and duties of World Service Committees, Board members, executives, staffs, and consultants should always be matters of serious concern and great care must be exercised when evaluating and approving all.
Concept #12
All levels of SIA service shall observe the spirit of SIA traditions, taking care that it never becomes the seat of perilous wealth or power; that sufficient operating funds and reserve be its prudent financial principle; that it place none of its members in a position of unqualified authority over others; that it reach all important decisions by discussion, vote, and whenever possible, by substantial unanimity; that its actions never be personally punitive nor an incitement to public controversy ; that it never performs acts of government, and that, like the Fellowship it serves, it will always remain democratic in thought and action.
WSC 12 Guidelines for Safe Sharing at Business Meetings
These guidelines grow directly out of Traditions One and Two. Their purpose is to provide survivors with a framework for communicating in healthy, functional ways that are considerate of themselves and other survivors. Please follow the Guidelines during meetings, fellowship time and in your communications with fellow Survivors outside of the WSC.
Guideline 1: No Perpetrators
Perpetrators are not allowed at SIAWSC.
Guideline 2: Identifying
We keep the focus on our own recovery and take our own inventory, not other survivors’. We give feedback only when asked.
Guideline 3: ‘I’ Statements
We talk in ‘I’ statements. However, if you’re multiple or referring to you and your inner kids, feel free to share using the “We” voice, but please let the group know that your “We” applies to you and not everyone else.
Guideline 4: Non-SIA Literature and Triggering Language
We show our caring for fellow Survivors by remembering to announce when we are going to read or quote non-SIA literature, share highly graphic abuse memories or use four-lettered language.
Guideline 5: Intense Emotions
We may safely express intense emotions—anyone may sob freely without interference, express anger, terror, shame or any other feeling through words, without risk of being asked to leave.
Guideline 6: No Discrimination
We do not express anger or criticism towards a group of people based on gender, ethnicity, sexual orientation, religion, affiliation or disability.
Guideline 7: Communication Boundaries
We respect and honor our fellow Survivors by refraining from name calling, criticizing, gossip, talking about conflicts we may be having with other members of the meeting or violating communication boundaries when sharing at meetings. Likewise, we place other Survivors’ needs on equal footing with our own in the context of the meeting.
Guideline 8: Anonymity
Keep your outside discussion of the WSC to the topics discussed and not who said what. As with any other SIA meeting, all personal information remains within the room.
Guideline 9: No Cross Talk
To make our time together most effective, do not interrupt while others speak. At business meetings we will talk about others ideas, but when doing so we talk only about the ideas not the person who raised the idea.
Guideline 10: Triggers
Being triggered is an inherent part of being a survivor. Each of us is responsible for our own safety.
Guideline 11:Maintaining Safety and Courtesy at meetings
A-In Person Meetings: No Physical Touch without Permission If you wish to give someone a hug or touch them, please ask that person for permission first. We all have the right to reject physical touch at any time.
B-Virtual Meetings: :Please respect the sharing of others by keeping your device muted when not sharing. Avoid distracting movements/visual behaviors all can see. Do not use provocative screen saver photos, and do not take screenshots of anyone. Please remember to act as if you are actually present with others in a room.
Guideline 12: Maintaining Relationship Boundaries
We maintain safety at the WSC by refraining from engaging and initiating romantic relationships including using contact lists to ask someone for a romantic date.
Benefits of service
SURVIVOR 1
The benefits of service are:
Growth in my recovery
Growth in working through triggers & impulsive reactions
Learning how to relate to others in a mature way
Learning to listen - really listen
Becoming aware of when I am trying to control an outcome
Learning to be flexible, patient and understanding with others
Learning to express myself clearly (this is a work in progress)
Gaining mutual respect in a group
Respecting the rights of others to voice their opinions
Learning to accept the results of a group conscience when it’s not what I want
Amount of time I give:
Approximately - 9 hours per week
Challenges:
Saying “yes” before I have given the commitment sufficient thought.
Wanting others to agree with my thoughts on an issue.
Fear when something does not go my way.
Expectations:
Gaining maturity, learning how to communicate clearly to the point.
Increase my support network.
Getting to know other survivors and developing friendships.
Hopes:
Getting to a place where I don’t feel pressure and/or fear.
SURVIVOR 2
Benefits of Service:
Service allows me to feel wholly present, amidst times of disassociation, depression and triggers.
Service within SIA has increased my self-confidence and has helped me find my niche in the wonderful skills I bring to the table.
I feel heard and seen in SIA and aim to offer that same welcome to any who seek recovery.
Amount of time given:
This is hard to quantify. SIA has become an integrated part of my life and my service has its roots in attending meetings, stems up into service at the group level and flowers in the service I do with the World Service Conference Committees.
Challenges:
Feeling supported. At in-person meetings, where there may be only a few members (or none!), serving for years can be burdensome. In virtual meetings, it can feel a bit isolating to keep the camera off, even if it is my choice.
Hopes:
That others will gain the same benefits in service and continue to carry the message via service rotation.
Expectations:
That others are eager to serve!! This sometimes isn't the case.
SURVIVOR 3
Benefits of service over time.
Benefits of service, there has been many, and they have changed over the years.
Early in, service keept me doing recovery, I was alsready 2-3% healed and saw no real need to heal further, only stayed because I was moderation a meeting and felt the need to take care of that little task, had still not learned to take care of me. So actually taking care of a meeting helped me find ways to also take care of me, and somehow the meeting also took a little care of me too.
Later I could see how service keept me more present at a meeting. And doing different, more special tasks helped to keep other skills alive too.
And then there is a deeper thing. It's really nice to have something of value to give to other humans, especially having some to give to people in painfull need, like I was years ago and still sometimes a little bit. (Trad 5. Each SIA group has but one primary purpose: to carry its message to the survivor of childhood sexual abuse who still suffers.)
We can share about experience, strength and hope, challenges, expectations and hopes related to service work.