Survivors of Incest Anonymous
Coming Home Phone Line
for Adult Survivors of Childhood Sexual Abuse

Call  1.712.432.8808     
Access code 742247#

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SIA Coming Home Phone Bridge Intergroup Meeting Minutes

Wednesday, February 19th, 2014

6:00pm PT/9:00pm ET; 

 Call-In Info: 712-432-0926; pin 190373#

Meeting Called to Order: 6:02 PT

Attendees:  John+, Annie, Rochelle, Mike G., Liz, Holly, Susan came at 6:50pm

Serenity Prayer

Old Business

  • Updates on meeting statuses (all meetings on phone line)
    • Tuesday Night meeting: 
      • Holly available from ~Nov – March on Tuesday nights, then she can’t due to lack of privacy. So a back-up moderator is needed at end of March
      • Rochelle can co-moderate with someone else during this time
    • Saturday Early morning
      • Liz could possibly be a back-up moderator, and do 1x/month, with advanced warning
    • Monday Night Meeting:
      • Liz would like to step up and be GSR, but is already a GSR for Sunday Night. Best to be GSR for only one meeting, to make space for the most people to be in GSR roles. John+ suggested she step down from being the GSR at the next Sunday business meeting, and switch to being a Monday GSR.
      • Formal process is to step up and call for elections, but at this point its ok to informally take the GSR position if no one else is available (the same applies to meeting moderators).
  • Follow Through Reading 12 Guidelines for Safe Sharing
    • Annie’s revisions, combining three drafts.  Discussion of minor edits:
      • Guideline 7: excluding the word “swearing” (since we do allow swearing)
      • Guideline 5: supplant the word “freely” for “violently”
      • Guideline 9: Add the word “Note” to the sentence starting, “Using another . . .”
    • Liz forwarded a motion to accept them. Annie seconded the motion. Our intergroup approve the 12 Guidelines of Safe Sharing. Motion passed unanimously. All moderators should replace old safety guidelines with new ones as soon as possible.
  • Fellowship Time Structure
    • John+ suggested tabling this topic to allow time to get to other items. The minutes from the last morning meeting summarized the ideas around changing the fellowship period.
    • Responses to John+’s idea to table the idea. 
      • Rochelle – most fellowship times are doing fine, generally every 15 minutes someone asks for new shares, and its generally open and inviting.
      • Liz, Mike, Annie, Holly – fine with tabling (Old Business for further discussion). John+ encourages those who were present to think about the topic and take a look at morning minutes revolving around this topic, including possible solutions.
      • Annie made a motion to add those minutes (mentioned above) to our monthly mailing. John+ amended the motion to add both the minutes of the intergroup and the morning meeting, and any other meeting that is interested in doing so, to the monthly mail-contact list that Paul sends out. Rochelle seconded the motion.
        • Annie suggested sending other meeting minutes also. John+ suggested we get a deadline from Paul, by which we need to get meeting minutes to include in a mailing. Need that deadline from Paul
  • Update to Intergroup Website changes (Annie)
    • Put a link to buying literature on the site; made a donation button that takes you to the SIA-WSO donation page; also added all the meeting scripts that she is aware of.
    • Over 1000 hits in the month of January.
      • John+ added that we had 450 hits in a one week period on our Intergroup Website.

New Business

  • Update 7th tradition for phone bridge scripts.
    • John+ would like to draft wordage that suggests, in meeting scripts, for members to make a donation each time they get on the phone line; instead of the current words that suggest sending donations to WSO.
  • Formalizing new recording secretary for Intergroup
    • A current intergroup Policy: to serve in the intergroup you need to have moderated for at least 3 months.  John+ wants the intergroup to be inclusive, but doesn’t want someone who isn’t working the steps/non-12 step/someone not working their issues to be participating at the Intergroup level.
    • He proposes a policy (similar to ACA WSO policy): anyone is welcome to call in and listen to Intergroup Meetings, but to participate and share responses during the meeting you need to have shown up at 3 Intergroup meetings previous to participating, and in order to vote you must be the formal GSR, formal Moderator or formal Secretary for a meeting for a minimum of 3 months. 
    • Responses: Rochelle, Mike, Annie, Holly agreed; Liz strongly agreed.
    • John+ motion: 
      • Listening Requirements: Anyone is welcome to listen in at Intergroup meetings.
      • Participation Requirements: Must attend 3 Intergroup meetings in a row, must announce themselves as listening participants and which meeting they are representing.  
      • Voting Requirements: In order to vote, you must be a formal meeting GSR, meeting secretary, or meeting moderator or co-moderator, and serving in that office for a minimum for 3 months. You can’t have a meeting GSR and moderator both vote from the same meeting – only one vote per meeting. If you are the GSR for the meeting, or official rep , you have full participating and voting privileges from the 1st Intergroup meeting that you attend.
    • Liz seconded the motion.  None opposed, passes unanimously.
    • John+: added one item – he’d like to have us look at our mission statement regarding intergroup decision-making, meetings that may both want to come in at the same time. Need to create a formal structure for our intergroup at some point. John+ will resend a copy of that idea for each of us to take a look at.
  • WSO Announcements:
    • WSO Conference Group Concerns Committee
      • Had its 2nd meeting today. 
      • Looking at different issues: encouragement of standardization of meeting scripts, safety guidelines, group safety check, follow up on 12 group concerns, creating a way to encourage more people to work the steps and provide more support for sponsors to help others work the step. 
      • 2nd Wed of every month, 12:45pm-1:30pm ET – group meetings
    • Sponsor Collaboration – Monthly Meeting
      • 1st meeting:  March 5th, 8-9am PT/11-12ET
      • For those that have already worked the steps with a sponsor, co-sponsor or in a step workshop and are currently sponsoring another person in the program.
      • Time for sponsors to ask questions and share information between those sponsoring. 
    • WSO Literature Committee Meeting
      • 4th Wed of the month
    • Other thoughts about Intergroup supporting SIA at WSO level?
      • It is part of our mission to support WSO
      • Rochelle: listening without comment on topic
      • Liz: Thanks to John+ for his creative service. Question regarding the monthly meeting of SIA WSC Group Concerns Committee – is anyone ok to listen in? John+ replied: probably going to be a requirement to participate – 6 months service work at local meetings – or something along those lines. The committee will iron out these details in the future, but for now, anyone is welcome to attend.
      • Mike, Annie, Holly: no comments
      • Susan: Would like to see a master list of all the meetings (John+ responded saying that we could add a page to the intergroup website);  Discussion over fellowship. A third comment of organization bullets for things we are sharing on. (didn’t get all this idea). 
      • Susan made another comment and John+ and her discussed this, but I could not follow. 
  • Liz motioned to close the meeting. Holly/Mike seconded it.
  • Next meeting is Wed, March 19th, 9pm ET/6pm PT
  • Serenity Prayer

Appendix One: Workshop Proposals

  SIA Coming Phoneline Workshop Application Form  

  • Name:    Susan (LV), Annie & possibly two others. 
  • Phone #:    Susan 702-684-9789
  • Best Time to contact you: leave a msg
  • Title: A Book Study & Share Workshop on Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving; by Pete alker.   
  • Duration: until we’ve finished reading and discussing book
  • Proposed Day [s]:  Mondays & possibly 2nd day if sufficient interest.
  • Proposed Time:  9 PM PT – 11 PM PT
  • Maximum # Participants: who ever wants to 
  • Do participants need to preregister or can they just show up? Anyone may show up
  • Materials I will Provide:   It is suggested that people have their own copy but this is not required as moderators will have copies to do reading from.
  • Workshop and what goals for participants are: Participants will learn how to recognize their complex PTSD symptoms and how to heal these challenges through a variety of “community reparenting” approaches described in the book that provide hands on tools for recovering from childhood traumas.
  • Each evening 3-5 pages will be read. 5 minute shares be taken on passage read. Possibly, depending on turn out and number of passages read per evening, sharing times may be shortened. After group has met for period of time the group may decide which chapter they want to study at the next meeting in the book as Walker has said the book can be read out of sequence.
  • Options: 1.5 hour meeting instead of 2 hour meeting.


SIA Coming Home Phone-line Intergroup

Education & Workshop Committee Participation Form

Do you feel you have information of value to share with other survivors of childhood sexual abuse? Perhaps you have information about processes to relax, work with certain feelings or mental/emotional conditions that are common for survivors of childhood abuse. Perhaps you’re willing to participate in speakers panels and talk for 10-15 minutes about your experience, strength and hope. Perhaps you have a talent, skill or hobby that other survivors would benefit from learning about; after all being a survivor means being a human being in the world facing a host of challenges. Learning life skills, be they about how to manage finances or how to grow vegetables, find a job, or cope with the demands of parenting and other important relationships, are important for survivors to learn about. If you have a recovery topic you’d like to share about, the SIA Coming Home Phone-line Intergroup would like to hear from you! Please note that returning this form to Intergroup does not commit you to participating, nor does it constitute approval of your workshop. Rather, it let’s us know that you have valuable information to share and wish to be contacted with regards to hosting/facilitating a workshop on the phone-line. We look forward to hearing from you. Please send your form to so we can contact you as appropriate opportunities become available.

Name: John + & Jeannine

Email Address:; 

Phone #: 626-433-3177 (John+) 818) 299-0622 (Jeannine)

Best time of day to contact you: 10:00 A.M. P.T. – 10:00 P.M. P.T.

To facilitate a workshop, please answer the following questions listed below (please note that if you are interested in being able to offer more than one type of workshop, that’s fine. Just fill out multiple forms or attach them to this page when you submit them):

Title of Workshop: Working with Survivor Codependency Issues

Is this a one day or several day workshop? The workshop will last for approximately 6 months.

How long is workshop (length of time and # of days needed)? 1.5 hours; approximately 26 days.

What day(s) of week/time of day are you proposing for workshop? Every Thursday from 8 P.M.  P.T. – 9:30 P.M. P.T.

Are you willing to do your workshop if the day(s) of week and/or time you’re proposing are not available? No, as Thursday is the only day that works for the two co-facilitators

Maximum # of participants you are willing to work with at a workshop: As many as want to attend.

Do participants need to preregister for the workshop or can they just show up at the workshop? They can just show up.

Materials workshop participants need to bring &/or that you will provide: Materials will be provided by facilitators

Cost to individual participants if any: $00.00

In one paragraph, briefly describe what will be discussed or done at your workshop and/or what its goals for participants are:  Each workshop will begin with a 10-minute co-dependency reading by one of the following authors: Melody Beatty, Pia Melody, Pete Walker, Claudia Black or Karin Casey. Following the reading, 3-5 behaviors from the SIA Document, “Categories of Codependent Coping Behaviors for Survivors of Childhood Sexual Abuse” will be read aloud. All participants will then be afforded the opportunity to share about those behaviors in their lives. In the subsequent week, people may share again any writing/thinking they’ve done around those coping behaviors. After that sharing is done the next 3-5 behaviors will be shared until all 5 categories of codependency behaviors have been examined (Denial, Low Self-Esteem, Compliance, Control and Avoidance coping behaviors)

Appendix Two

Suggestions, Needs and Thoughts about Coming Home SIA Phoneline Intergroup

Structures, Methods & Mission

Prepared and submitted in grateful service by John+

1. Create new email address for intergroup for inquiries & requests. Done

2. Create a small web site for the Coming Home SIA Phoneline Intergroup using one of the free website services.

3. Create a Coming Home SIA Phoneline Intergroup  

A. Membership to be comprised of:

  • One member of each meeting (could be moderator or general service representative of the meeting [GSR] except morning meeting as it represents 7 meetings (up to 3 reps)
  • 5 leadership service positions comprising the Executive Committee
  • Additionally, members of any meeting will be welcome to participate in any Coordinating Committee meetings

B. Voting/Participation: Passed at 2/19/14 meeting

    • John+ motion; Liz seconded the motion.  None opposed, passes unanimously.

    • Listening Requirements: Anyone is welcome to listen in at Intergroup meetings.
    • Participation Requirements: Must attend 3 Intergroup meetings in a row, must announce themselves as listening participants and which meeting they are representing.  
    • Voting Requirements: In order to vote, you must be a formal meeting GSR, meeting secretary, or meeting moderator or co-moderator, and serving in that office for a minimum for 3 months. You can’t have a meeting GSR and moderator both vote from the same meeting – only one vote per meeting. If you are the GSR for the meeting, or official rep , you have full participating and voting privileges from the 1st Intergroup meeting that you attend.

C. Suggested Meeting Frequency: Once a month for an hour 

D. Suggested Executive Committee Membership Service Position Descriptions

Secretary: Central task-Serve as Intergroup Executive Committee member; chair all intergroup business meetings; get out agendas for meetings and maintain a history of all meeting votes and minute actions.

Assistant Secretary- Serve as Intergroup Executive Committee member; assist secretary as necessary;

Outreach Chair- Serves as intermediary between SIA WSO and Intergroup membership; responsible for sending online updates about meetings to SIA WSO website; gets phoneline meeting updates out to intergroup membership; sends Intergroup Coordinating Committee minutes out to general contact list membership; works closely with the Contact List Rep and Web Site Coordinator to make sure information is disseminated in a timely manner.

Contact List Rep (updates contact list regularly, sends it out to general membership once a month; replies to requests to be added to contact list; sends new contact list members meeting scripts and readings when sending them their first contact list (readings and meetings are considered to be the intergroup’s welcome packet); works with Outreach Chair and Web Site Coordinator to insure information sharing is taking place.

Web site Coordinator--creates and updates intergroup website; updates meeting schedule on it, posts announcements; posts minutes and pending votes for next intergroup Coordinating Committee meeting so that people may vote. Also works with Outreach Chair and Contact List Rep to insure information sharing is taking place.

Additional Executive Committee Responsibilities

Emergency Decisions: In addition to the above responsibilities, the executive committee will have the responsibility to make emergency decisions that affect the phoneline as a whole. For instance, if a meeting has voted to ban a member due to repeated controlling or perpetrator communication behaviors, the executive committee could vote to ban that person from the phoneline. All executive committee emergency decisions though, must be approved at the next Intergroup Coordinating Committee meeting though to remain in effect.

Meeting Attendance: All Executive Committee members will be expected to attend all intergroup meetings and/or file a brief report on their activities since the last meeting with the secretary if they are unable to attend. Failure to meet the above guideline 2 meetings in a row may result in a vote by the Coordinating Committee to remove that person from their position.  

Possible Future Positions (all would be Executive Committee Members)

Treasurer-when and if donations are collected to support intergroup activities

Education Chair-creates opportunities for online and in person events for education around healing issues related to childhood sexual abuse

Newsletter Chair- would be responsible for creating and editing a newsletter for members of the intergroup.

Safety Chair- would be responsible for helping to insure meeting safety by visiting phoneline meetings when members reach out to the Intergroup Coordinating Committee for help because of repeated Safety Guideline violations when the meeting moderator and membership is unable to insure that safe space is being created for sharing.  

E. Suggested Requirements for Service on Executive Committee & Length of Tenure

All Executive Committee members :

  • Be required to have a minimum of 1 year of involvement with SIA;
  • 3 months of involvement with the SIA phoneline;
  • Service length: one year.

Potential Coming Home Phoneline Intergroup Mission Statement

The SIA Coming Home Phone Line Intergroup facilitates a free 24-hour phone conference line for fellowship and meetings of survivors of childhood sexual abuse. We seek to aid people who want to learn to actualize a sense of compassion, self-support, and possibility in all areas of their lives and who are not sexually abused children as adults. We use our experience strength and hope to:

  • Offer referrals to SIA phoneline and in-person meetings and events;
  • Provide information about how to start SIA phoneline and in-person meetings;
  • Facilitate stronger communication channels between meetings on the SIA Coming Home Phoneline, other SIA Intergroups, and the SIA World Service Organization;
  • Insure Coming Home Intergroup  participation in SIA World Service activities;
  • Assist in creating and distributing new information among SIA Coming Home Intergroup Phoneline  meetings and members, other SIA Intergroups and the SIA World Service Conference about ways to heal from the wounds of childhood sexual abuse via literature, a newsletter, and electronic media;
  • Work to eventually offer Educational Workshops on a wide range of issues affecting survivors of childhood sexual abuse;
  • Offer ongoing support to Coming Home phoneline meetings about how to keep their meetings safe for survivors to heal by adhering to the 12 SIA Traditions and 12 Guidelines for Safe Sharing;
  • Create opportunities for survivors to work the SIA steps of recovery; 
  • Support SIA WSO efforts whenever possible.